Women

"Women,.... make a man want to shoot himself in the head and be done with it."


This pretty much sums what women do to a man in a relationship, as per a man's perspective. You ask any man whose been in a serious relationship, and he would agree to this. I read this somewhere and really liked it. So, you can take this to be true too. Or, you could go the hard way and figure it out yourself. And, come to the same conclusion :)


But, is that how I, your Mom, would explain the relationship between herself and your father? No. It goes much deeper than this. And I sincerely hope that your dad, despite agreeing with above, would say that I'm the best thing that happened to him. :)


Love is the best emotion, a great support and a continuous fall-back when it happens at the right time, at the right age, to the right person. But, if it goes wrong, as it often does, it leaves a lot of scars to yourself and to all others involved. 


That is why, it's best to let it happen on it's own, at it's own time and pace. Not to go looking for it. I know it's easier said than done. But, when I got married to your Dad, I penned the following lines.
" Love is like a tree which blossoms and grows as long as we both keep watering it."


This means that as long as we both want to be together and wish to keep loving each other, we'll keep making efforts. We'll do whatever it takes to be together, no matter what the odds. But, the moment someone grows out of it and stops watering the love tree, love will fade out and will die one day. 


Since it's a tree which needs continuous or at least periodic attention, it's best to have it once you're settled in life. Perhaps, that's the reason people get married or chose their partners once they are settled in their careers. 


There are lot many ups and downs that come in a relationship. The different expectations, difference in humans make it a big effort to make it work together. But, once you're beyond that point, it's a great support to have. The kind of warmth and freedom you feel, to know that you've someone who understands you, and wouldn't mock you if you cry...it's a precious thing to have. When it is backed with a marriage, the whole society, the world tries to help you deal with it. But, when it's outside the wedlock, you agree to face a lot of it and much more, alone.


Well, these things will come when you're seriously in love with the girl. If you're not, please honor me with this one rule which I would like you to follow.
No matter what state you're in, whatever your expectations are from the lady, always remember to respect her. They are more than just sex objects and a show-off for your friends. You maybe immature but your misdeeds/mishandling can shape/de-shape someone's future. And, you don't need to go too far to spoil it. Girls are too tender and their hearts can be broken by just playing with their feelings. You would meet a lot of girls who would show to be very hard and tom-boyish on the face of it, but inside, they all come from the same species. Trust me! 


If you ever are in a situation where you never felt for her but she feels for you, please spare her the sympathies and be honest. Have the courage and be honest and tell her your real feelings. It may hurt her then but she would respect you much much more than if you rather accept her and be dishonest with her.


Anay, I know the post is too short and the topic is too wide. Hope it is a tiny bit useful.


Love,
Mom.

Comparison, Competition and Balance

The world nowadays is marred with lot of vices. And, as a kid, the worst of it, that you will face, is comparison and competition. People, both parents and kids, are running crazily behind things just because everyone else is doing it. It's wrong.
I was born in an environment where competition and comparison was a way of life. I know it's consequences and I know it's damages. The idea behind telling a child about competition is because it puts pressure on the child to do better. Peer Pressure. I'm still working on getting rid of the scars.

I.. would rather like you to do things naturally. I want you to feel driven for things and not pushed for them. If you do something, do it because 'you' 'want' to do it. Don't do it because someone else is doing it. And, don't do it because you have to do it.
Of course, there are things which you will have to do because that's part of our culture or society. And, trust me, if things happen my way, I'll allow you the freedom to question those and take your decisions there too. But, that will happen when the time comes. When you're mature enough to make your decisions. But, till then, you'll have to trust your parents.

Competition these days is growing like tsunami. It is engulfing and destroying everyone in its tides. As you grow up, you'll see children preparing for Engineering Entrance Exams right from Class 6th. That is the kind of preparation that has already started!! God knows by the time you get into school, they would have created programs for kids in Nursery too! Phew! I wonder what it will be like for 'your' kids :P

Honey, enjoy your life. Enjoy the present. Leave the future to itself. Have goals if you really want something. Prepare for it. But before that, know the life, know the world, look at the beautiful world 'God' created. Not just the one 'Man' created. The songs of birds, the love of a mother for her child, the colors of the flowers, the dew in the morning, the first sunshine, the cool breeze, the twinkling stars at the night. The purity. Follow your passion, Follow your heart. Understand what you want to do in life.Don't be like your mother, who is 27 and still searching for what her real passion is :) :D Be like her to not stop searching for it, as long as it may take!

I must mention here, life is about maintaining a balance. At every point in your life, you'll have to maintain a balance. When you're a kid, you'll have to do your homework and you would want to go playing too. Keep a balance. When you grow up, you would have work of office and you would want to spend time with your family too. Keep the balance. If you learn to keep the balance from childhood, you'll not face a problem handling it later in life. Prioritize things and then follow the schedule you made for yourself. A certain amount of discipline doesn't just brings success, it brings more happiness too.

Follow that and live your life king size. I'm there to fend for it. No, I don't want you to be a brat or an irresponsible child. Be responsible for your actions. If you have done something, stand up for it. Don't be a coward and lie to get away from the results. Owe up to them and never regret what you did. When you do that, you will never do anything that you've to hide from anyone. But other than that, do everything that your heart tells you to do. If you think it's right, don't think about what others' right is. If you think doing something is more important than attending an examination, then do it. Explain it to me later and son, I'll understand!

And when you grow up, show the world your true colors. Show them it doesn't matter if you got 100/100 in Maths or Chemistry. What is needed is a clear vision and a passion for the things that actually matter. Be an example that life is not about cramming text books. It's about learning from the world on a day-to-day basis and then dealing with it on the world's conditions.And, making your rules for the world to follow, later!

Go Tiger!!

Letters to you, my cub

Dear Anay,

I've often read about letters that people write to their kids, when they come to know that they are about to die in some time, due to some terminal-illness. I don't have any such illness. At least I know of none as yet...but I want to write letters to you, Anay. The way my life is going, the way things are shaping up, I am no more sure that I would be able to rear you the way I always wanted to.

You would find it odd but ever since I was very small (around 6-7 yrs of age, perhaps), I had opinions or thoughts on how my parents were behaving with me, and how 'I' would behave with my child, once I have him/her. :P This may sound fine to you coz u r listening to your mother, but for anyone else, it would be a funny thought. Maybe you will laugh too if you read this after growing up! :) Nobody, perhaps, thinks of children till the time they actually have them. I did. I used to. Whether it was good or bad, I don't know. That's what I was. That's what made me what I am today. Whatever that is.

I want to share the real 'me' with you. The Mom that you see when you grow up and the mom that has actually given birth to you are very different. Why do I say that? Because circumstances, society, and life changes people a lot. Your beliefs, your understanding of the world, your priorities keep changing. So will I and so will mine. Things I have believed in so far in my life, are becoming meaningless to me now. I know the reason is because I'm more maturer now. I'm growing up, rather growing old. I'm trying to mingle in the world. I'm trying to adjust to the life that everyone else lives, for the sake of my family.

I never did initially.

I lived by my heart. All my life. That's the life I consider as 'mine'. I never regretted anything I did my life. I always took them as a learning.  If I couldn't find any learning, I just took it that I will understand it in due course of time, but I will. I used to listen to my heart a lot. This made me very different from other people. This made me 'me'. But now, I've started losing it. I feel that I'm losing that innocence, I'm losing that heart.

But before the world changes me, and before everything is lost, I want to write these letters to you to tell you, what my heart felt. Because ,somewhere within me, I still believe that my heart was right and the world is wrong.

When I know that was right then why am I changing? The ways of heart are individualistic. They only think of oneself. But, life after marriage is mutual. Your wishes, your dreams, your decisions are all mutual. They are taken as best for your family.  In doing this, sometimes, one own's will has to be forsaken. And this is not something forced on anyone, this is a mutual decision taken by the two people who agree to get married. They agree to set forth on a path for their lives, where they will do anything needed to stay afloat and yet, stay together. If for that, it needs anyone of them to let go of some of their personal wishes, they will. And, each one of them does that happily. Because staying with each other is most important in their lives now. That's the beauty of love and marriage.

.