Determined Anay

There's a adage in Hindi, "poot-kapoot ke pair paalne mein dikhayi de jate hain

Anay has not just inherited his Dad's looks, he has inherited his temper and  his determination too. Tarun is quite adamant when he decides on something. And no one can deter him if he's decided on it.
Anay watches TV like a lost world. Even if you wave your hand in front of his eyes, he'll just move around your hand, but not take his eyes off it. It's quite amazing to watch him do that.

One day Tarun decided this cannot be allowed any further. So, while Anay was lost in watching TV, Tarun started bringing a sofa pillow in front of his eyes. Anay moved above the pillow, or moved the pillow aside, every time Tarun did it. Tarun did it almost 7-8 times and Anay persisted all this while. Amazing is to see Anay's patience and perseverance too. :) :P

Then, Tarun got tired and he moved Anay to face him directly. Tarun tried to scare him with probing eyes, you know, the angry eyes. And, Anay just kept looking at him. And, probed into Tarun's eyes straight. As if, scaring him back. :D

I can never forget the look , I can never forget the episode.

Somehow, it makes me think that Anay will turn out to be a focused person and a difficult child to budge :)

Comparison, Competition and Balance

The world nowadays is marred with lot of vices. And, as a kid, the worst of it, that you will face, is comparison and competition. People, both parents and kids, are running crazily behind things just because everyone else is doing it. It's wrong.
I was born in an environment where competition and comparison was a way of life. I know it's consequences and I know it's damages. The idea behind telling a child about competition is because it puts pressure on the child to do better. Peer Pressure. I'm still working on getting rid of the scars.

I.. would rather like you to do things naturally. I want you to feel driven for things and not pushed for them. If you do something, do it because 'you' 'want' to do it. Don't do it because someone else is doing it. And, don't do it because you have to do it.
Of course, there are things which you will have to do because that's part of our culture or society. And, trust me, if things happen my way, I'll allow you the freedom to question those and take your decisions there too. But, that will happen when the time comes. When you're mature enough to make your decisions. But, till then, you'll have to trust your parents.

Competition these days is growing like tsunami. It is engulfing and destroying everyone in its tides. As you grow up, you'll see children preparing for Engineering Entrance Exams right from Class 6th. That is the kind of preparation that has already started!! God knows by the time you get into school, they would have created programs for kids in Nursery too! Phew! I wonder what it will be like for 'your' kids :P

Honey, enjoy your life. Enjoy the present. Leave the future to itself. Have goals if you really want something. Prepare for it. But before that, know the life, know the world, look at the beautiful world 'God' created. Not just the one 'Man' created. The songs of birds, the love of a mother for her child, the colors of the flowers, the dew in the morning, the first sunshine, the cool breeze, the twinkling stars at the night. The purity. Follow your passion, Follow your heart. Understand what you want to do in life.Don't be like your mother, who is 27 and still searching for what her real passion is :) :D Be like her to not stop searching for it, as long as it may take!

I must mention here, life is about maintaining a balance. At every point in your life, you'll have to maintain a balance. When you're a kid, you'll have to do your homework and you would want to go playing too. Keep a balance. When you grow up, you would have work of office and you would want to spend time with your family too. Keep the balance. If you learn to keep the balance from childhood, you'll not face a problem handling it later in life. Prioritize things and then follow the schedule you made for yourself. A certain amount of discipline doesn't just brings success, it brings more happiness too.

Follow that and live your life king size. I'm there to fend for it. No, I don't want you to be a brat or an irresponsible child. Be responsible for your actions. If you have done something, stand up for it. Don't be a coward and lie to get away from the results. Owe up to them and never regret what you did. When you do that, you will never do anything that you've to hide from anyone. But other than that, do everything that your heart tells you to do. If you think it's right, don't think about what others' right is. If you think doing something is more important than attending an examination, then do it. Explain it to me later and son, I'll understand!

And when you grow up, show the world your true colors. Show them it doesn't matter if you got 100/100 in Maths or Chemistry. What is needed is a clear vision and a passion for the things that actually matter. Be an example that life is not about cramming text books. It's about learning from the world on a day-to-day basis and then dealing with it on the world's conditions.And, making your rules for the world to follow, later!

Go Tiger!!

Letters to you, my cub

Dear Anay,

I've often read about letters that people write to their kids, when they come to know that they are about to die in some time, due to some terminal-illness. I don't have any such illness. At least I know of none as yet...but I want to write letters to you, Anay. The way my life is going, the way things are shaping up, I am no more sure that I would be able to rear you the way I always wanted to.

You would find it odd but ever since I was very small (around 6-7 yrs of age, perhaps), I had opinions or thoughts on how my parents were behaving with me, and how 'I' would behave with my child, once I have him/her. :P This may sound fine to you coz u r listening to your mother, but for anyone else, it would be a funny thought. Maybe you will laugh too if you read this after growing up! :) Nobody, perhaps, thinks of children till the time they actually have them. I did. I used to. Whether it was good or bad, I don't know. That's what I was. That's what made me what I am today. Whatever that is.

I want to share the real 'me' with you. The Mom that you see when you grow up and the mom that has actually given birth to you are very different. Why do I say that? Because circumstances, society, and life changes people a lot. Your beliefs, your understanding of the world, your priorities keep changing. So will I and so will mine. Things I have believed in so far in my life, are becoming meaningless to me now. I know the reason is because I'm more maturer now. I'm growing up, rather growing old. I'm trying to mingle in the world. I'm trying to adjust to the life that everyone else lives, for the sake of my family.

I never did initially.

I lived by my heart. All my life. That's the life I consider as 'mine'. I never regretted anything I did my life. I always took them as a learning.  If I couldn't find any learning, I just took it that I will understand it in due course of time, but I will. I used to listen to my heart a lot. This made me very different from other people. This made me 'me'. But now, I've started losing it. I feel that I'm losing that innocence, I'm losing that heart.

But before the world changes me, and before everything is lost, I want to write these letters to you to tell you, what my heart felt. Because ,somewhere within me, I still believe that my heart was right and the world is wrong.

When I know that was right then why am I changing? The ways of heart are individualistic. They only think of oneself. But, life after marriage is mutual. Your wishes, your dreams, your decisions are all mutual. They are taken as best for your family.  In doing this, sometimes, one own's will has to be forsaken. And this is not something forced on anyone, this is a mutual decision taken by the two people who agree to get married. They agree to set forth on a path for their lives, where they will do anything needed to stay afloat and yet, stay together. If for that, it needs anyone of them to let go of some of their personal wishes, they will. And, each one of them does that happily. Because staying with each other is most important in their lives now. That's the beauty of love and marriage.

.

Stand, Walk, Run

Now Anay has only one ambition in front of him - to walk. :D
He's totally unstoppable these days. He hasn't been able to stand or walk properly right now but he constantly keeps trying. Whatever amount he can walk, crawl, he uses it to his maximum ability, to reach to new objects.
He's able to stand up with the help of stuff, like table, chair etc so he would use those and stand up and start reaching out to objects on top of it. The dressing tables and the drawers are all reachable targets now for him.
You need to keep a constant check on where he might be.
He's started crawling beneath the dining table and the chairs. You lose sight of him for a minute and you would have lost him totally. Then, you keep looking. Coz, right now, he can't respond. If you call out his name, he'll look towards you but he won't come to you. So, if you don't see in his direction, you don't know where to find him.
Just the other day, he went running behind something and Mji was in the other room. By the time, she came to the Drawing room, he was nowhere. She called out to him but of course, he won't answer! So, she looked everywhere to find him sitting and waiting for her, behind the Sofa!
Phew!
It's fun and it's scary. :)
He is so happy when he can stand for a short span of few seconds. He looks at us for approval and happiness. And, are we happy!? His Dad is always overjoyed whenever he sees him standing by himself for even 3 seconds. For me, the fun has faded a bit but I still feel happy. But, not as much as him. :)

He's also realized that switches are for starting and shutting the fans and the lights. Two days ago, we got a switch board fitted near the bed as it was more convenient. Now, we feel like it was a big mistake. Every time Anay is on the bed, he can't wait to reach to the switch board. Now, since the board is at the side of bed, there are fair chances that he would fall off the bed if we leave him unnoticed. God!! You can never be enough cautious with kids.
Now, when he falls or hits himself, I don't even worry as much.

I guess that's part of being a boy's mom. You ought to get used to this! :)

Did I mention that he loves to walk with his walker? He even tries to turn it at corners but can't do it as yet :)
Also, we play hide-n-seek with him. :D We call out to him and hide in one of the rooms and he comes running-while-crawling all over. It's our favorite play these days. We get tired of it but he doesn't. :D

Maturing up :P

Anay has crossed his 10 months and is now going towards his 11th. Ever since he crossed the 3rd Feb date, he has started understanding so much. You can see it on his face. He understands if you throw a ball at him and wait for him to do the same. Papaji played it with him and we have a nice video of doing the same with him. Papaji was making sounds like "Aaa" when throwing the ball, so you can see him making sounds too when throwing the ball. Yesterday, I pressed my palms on his cheeks and brought them down. Then I took his hands and did the same to my cheeks. Then, he did that again. Later, when Tarun was playing with him and did that to him, he repeated it to Tarun back. :) Tarun was overwhelmed. :)
Simple moments, Blissful moments.
If mom-dad are having a cozy moment, then he would leave everything aside and jump in the middle. :D
If someone is going out the gate, he'll rush to the gate to go out. He doesn't cry though, so that's good part about it.
When anyone of us four returns from outside, we have to pick him up without any delay. Without waiting to keep my bags, I must take him into arms else he would freak out.
AND, he's a true man. He dozes off when we take him to a mall. He, on the contrary, keeps wide awake when he take him to the park. He feels lost when mom n amma are getting ready for a party. He seems like "I fail to understand what's the fuss about?!". This is the kinda look he gives me. When I get all dressed up, and ask him. "Anay, mummy kaisi lag rahi hai.", he'll give me a look and then start looking elsewhere, as if he doesn't care or as if he doesn't recognize. God! It's fun and funny at the same time.
Yesterday, we all were out for getting some bathroom fittings, so we all were engrossed in what mirror to chose, he got so tired of it, he started mumbling to himself. When no one paid attention, he started talking loudly. Then, you can't ignore. Then, you have to leave everything and rush to get him his food.
The other day, Mji was trying to feed him daal-chawal. He wasn't eating. She said "bataun abhi" and he started shouting to her, in a further louder tone. God, kids!
Till now, he can;t speak a word, yet he is most heard. I wonder what he'll do when he actually starts speaking.
:P :)

More wounds :(

Anay has started getting very naughty. He wants to be up and around all the time now. He's completed 10 months today.
A few days ago, Mji was preparing some milk and biscuit for him. She had heated the milk with him in her hands. She just placed him in his high-chair so that she could dip the biscuit into the milk, break it and then feed him. In this short span of time, with her standing right next to him, he stood up in the chair, lost his balance and fell, right to the ground, with his head hitting the floor, at back.
I was gone to change clothes. I had just returned from office. And, when he fell, I had just came out. I saw him falling. The fall kept playing in my head for ennumerous times in these past days. It gives me jitters every time I remember it. My head gets dizzy whenever I think of  it. It's like I'm experiencing the fall every time.
Well, nothing much happened to Anay. Thank God for that. He cried for a minute. And, then got dizzy. He wanted to sleep. But, Mji said this is the time they faint. So, you should keep them awake whenever anything like this happens. So, we took him down in the open. We rushed to the nearest doctor, just to be sure, everything was fine, with him. But, unfortunately, the doctor was out of station.
Anyways, we contacted our pediatrician, who lives a little far from our house. He asked us the regular symptoms and said, everything's fine. So, we relaxed. But, it will remain as a nightmare.

Yesterday, he was on his way to another accident but we saved it in time. He has this walker (the three tyred walker, that's better for kids, these days). He loves it totally. So, anytime he sees it, he holds it and wants to walk. But, he's not practiced enough to walk with it, single-handedly. So, I usually make it a point to keep it away from his reach, whenever we're not playing with it. Yesterday, Pji accidentally left it on the ground and forgot. He rushed to it and had already started walking when I saw him. Thank God, I saw it in time. Can't take another one so soon.

I know kids keep falling, keep getting bruised. But, honey pie, you're still too small. Please, give mamma some more time to be prepared for all this.
I need to be very careful now. Very Very careful.
God, be with me! And more with him!!

Mundan

Tomorrow, it's Anay's mundan ceremony. Ever since he was born, I've seen him with hair. Somehow it is scaring me to see him all bald. I know it must be just a couple of days till he remains that and he'll regrow them soon enough (hope so!!). But, it is still a scary feeling.
When his hair had grown a little bit too much, I had put a rubber band on his hair to control them. But, even then, the change in his hair style made him loo so naughty, so clever, I removed the rubber band soon. I would rather put the clip at a side than make a fountain pony on the top of his head. 
If such a slight change can irk me so much, how will I handle it tomorrow.
God, be with me!