Mundan

Tomorrow, it's Anay's mundan ceremony. Ever since he was born, I've seen him with hair. Somehow it is scaring me to see him all bald. I know it must be just a couple of days till he remains that and he'll regrow them soon enough (hope so!!). But, it is still a scary feeling.
When his hair had grown a little bit too much, I had put a rubber band on his hair to control them. But, even then, the change in his hair style made him loo so naughty, so clever, I removed the rubber band soon. I would rather put the clip at a side than make a fountain pony on the top of his head. 
If such a slight change can irk me so much, how will I handle it tomorrow.
God, be with me!

His first wound

Yesterday night, he was playing in our bed.

We have got an extended wooden wall stretched around our bed to stop him from falling. He likes to play with that fence. Hold it and stand up. He would stand and then fall back on bed when he gets tired.

Yesterday, he fell and his forehead hit the fence. He has hurt his head many times, but every time it has been slight. When kids play, they tend to get hurt once in a while. And, he's in that age when he'll just not sit still. He has to keep doing something or the other. He wouldn't stay in your lap or arms. He just wants to get out and do something on his own. He is so fierce at it that he will force himself out of your hold, if he wants to. So, we had let him be and stretched the fence. (It's installed through hinges so we can remove it when we wish to, and stretch it at night.)

Yesterday, when he hurt himself, he cried loud, he cried for long. His crying, I've still got okay with. But, the wound. Ohhh! The wound hit me hard. I can't explain how much it was hurting me. The hit left him with a blue scar on his forehead. My MIL and FIL kept calming me down while tending to him. But, it felt like nothing could console me. I couldn't stop the tears. I couldn't stop the hurt it was causing me.

They say that the scar will go away in a day or two. And, it will not hurt him coz we've put the machine oil on it, which is considered best for such wounds. But, I think it'll take me more than that to heal.

This has been his second major wound in this one month. Last time, in Hyderabad, I had fallen with him in my arms. And, his head had hit the lift's pavement. Straight on his head. Ohh! Everything had gone blur in front of my eyes. I had forgotten my wound. I just knew he's hurt. It's great that the people around us were so caring that they helped us right away. But, a wound is a wound. And, when it is on your child's body rather than yours, trust me, it hurts ten times more. I can understand it now.

I remember when I had snipped his nail a bit more while cutting his nails. He hadn't cried or anything but I felt jitters for almost 10 minutes.

I better get used to it. Now, with him growing up, such things are normal. Let's see how long it takes me to get normal to them. God, now I know, why they call it blood relations and what they mean by motherly love. More than the blood, it's a piece of my soul running in him. Before he feels anything, I feel it. And, it's not vice versa.

Nani visit

Since it was shut-down time for me, I and Anay went to my Mom's place. The plan was to spend the entire holidays there but we had to return home early. All in all, we spent 4 days there and 3 days back home. 


This was a revelation time for me. Anay has started recognizing people and places. He was so cranky and insecure at mom's place. The moment we reached there, he got fevicol glued to me .Literally. He just wouldn't leave me. If he's sitting and playing, and someone enters the door, he starts crying. He wants to be in his mother's arms and feel safe. He created havoc before he went to sleep. He would cry so hard, so loud and only in my arms. One night it so happened that I rocked him to sleep in my lap, and the moment I put him down on bed, he would wake up and start crying. He did thrice. Then, he didn't stop crying for almost 30 minutes. Then, when Pranshu came, distracted him, played with him, he calmed down and got busy playing. It was mad. I was so tired and so drained out by the end of it, I couldn't even keep awake to wait for him to sleep again. He just kept playing by my side on the bed while I slept. Then he slept in around half-n-hour or so.


When Tarun came on Wednesday to take us back home, he wouldn't stay calm even in his arms. He wanted me. It would have been nice a feeling in normal circumstances, but I was so damn tired in the past 4 days, of holding him in my arms all the time, or cradling him to sleep while he howled and cried loud, that I was all the more sad to see that he wasn't comfortable with Tarun. I was dreadful that if this continues, what will I do. My back was aching so much that I came to know of joints in my spine, that I never knew of. Everything was aching in me.


Anyways, thankfully, he only took some time before getting easy again. When we returned home, he took some time before getting easy with Amma-Baba and then got back to his normal. Now, he does need me off and on but doesn't just stick to me all the time. So, it's a happy feeling for me. An amazing feeling now to see him drooling his love over me. Falling on me to sleep again, when awake in the middle of his sleep. Circling his body around me. :)


Bliss!