These days, there have been times when I had to stay back in office or due to some reason, I reached home late. My MIL keeps updating me how Anay was continuously looking at the gate around your usual time, waiting for you.
I always try to NOT believe her. But, the other day, I saw it. I returned late due to urgent work at office. Though I tried to make it early, I still reached home around 8. As is the norm, my MIL brings him to the gate whenever I reach home, she brought him with her. As soon as the gate opened, I didn't even keep my laptop down, and took him in my arms. He came silently. But, he was extremely silent. And, sad. :( :(
I maybe overdoing it by thinking that he was sad coz I came late but it was so written on his face. After a little while, in which Tarun played with him, did silly things in front of him, he was returning to his usual self, but I somewhere knew that he gets sad when I don't come in time.
He was avoiding my gaze...not throwing hands like he usually does when he's happy/excited. He was too silent. Later, I tried to make up to him by spending time with him, but the long day was taking its toll, and I was tired and not my usual spirited self. I just wanted him to sleep while he wanted to play.
This thought is so irksome and so sad. I know he wont remember it for long. He'll be fine when I return at normal time today. He may just get used to my coming late in some time. But, as an adult, I won't forget these sacrifices he had to make for my independence, my work, my identity.
No matter how much working-ladies try, they cannot deny that kids do suffer somewhere.
I always try to NOT believe her. But, the other day, I saw it. I returned late due to urgent work at office. Though I tried to make it early, I still reached home around 8. As is the norm, my MIL brings him to the gate whenever I reach home, she brought him with her. As soon as the gate opened, I didn't even keep my laptop down, and took him in my arms. He came silently. But, he was extremely silent. And, sad. :( :(
I maybe overdoing it by thinking that he was sad coz I came late but it was so written on his face. After a little while, in which Tarun played with him, did silly things in front of him, he was returning to his usual self, but I somewhere knew that he gets sad when I don't come in time.
He was avoiding my gaze...not throwing hands like he usually does when he's happy/excited. He was too silent. Later, I tried to make up to him by spending time with him, but the long day was taking its toll, and I was tired and not my usual spirited self. I just wanted him to sleep while he wanted to play.
This thought is so irksome and so sad. I know he wont remember it for long. He'll be fine when I return at normal time today. He may just get used to my coming late in some time. But, as an adult, I won't forget these sacrifices he had to make for my independence, my work, my identity.
No matter how much working-ladies try, they cannot deny that kids do suffer somewhere.
Sounds quite normal :) .... In the initial years he will have that resentment of you not being around more often but when he will be old enough he will really respect your efforts to be independent as well as will be proud of you for very balancing everything so well.
ReplyDeletePerhaps he will. But it's not about whether he approves of my decisions or not. It's about my satisfaction that I raised him in the best possible way that I could. I gave him all in my capacity and not let him lose on anything because I was busy with my personal endeavors.
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